KITZE - THE PLATFORM ™ (DISS TRACK RAP LYRICS VIDEO 2018 4K ROFL) HD

Twitter: https://twitter.com/thekitze Web: https://kitze.io React Academy: https://reactacademy.io ===== Buy me a coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/kitze ===== Lyrics I’m sick of the DOM Sick and tired of being told to keep calm “Just optimize performance and code splitting” and all the shit so I can move on Sick of you the bundle shamers The repo maintainers The twitter thought-leaders and all the mansplainers You would never bet your ass you end up in a fucking song I’m sick of the jquerys angulars reacts vues embers and github fights for stars All I want is to write an app without giving a crap about templates, JSX, or handlebars *nom nom nom nom* That’s the sound of Google Chrome, it’s eating my RAM You would think native apps are better? They’re made with Electron and that shit is twice as fat Your PWAs will compare to native apps When I finally remember the flexbox syntax or forget how to rap I’m tired of all your crap Lighthouse, performance audits, SEO, AMP and all that shit I need Bootstrap and normalize to have sensible defaults, I’m getting sick So do I need a PhD in Webpack to make an app that’s not sluggish? Do I need Sean Larkinn and the guy from Parcel to work with me so it’s not rubbish? Why do we call it “hello world” when it feels like “oh world goodbye”? Everytime npm is down I die a little bit inside I just want to hide in a dark room and cry because I’m tired of this cycle You need to use a polyfill everytime something is undefined Your stupid API will never be final And just don’t get me started with the styling, alright? If one more person tells me to “just sit down and learn some real CSS” I’m gonna punch them in the face and send a styled-components manual to their home address There’s a reason css-in-js exists bro, have you seen the cascade? It’s fucking messy it took them 10 years for variables to take place It will take us 10 more until we figure out how to load fonts By the time we have a normal way of writing apps Elon Musk will be on Mars And I didn’t want to go there, but fuck it... You say web components are the future I think that’s not how you spell torture If they were any good and that was the truth You would see somebody actually using them wouldn’t ya “Hey don’t forget about Polymer” Sorry totally forgot about it Like the rest of the dev community I would rather use Microsoft Frontpage or even Unity Have you ever sat down to explore the tools game developers enjoy? Compare it to my code editor and terminal that shit looks like a fucking toy Indie game devs looking like working up in a frickin NASA station It takes me 3 books and Framer X to make a performant animation Ha, and what does the platform do to help? Let’s see. You put shit ton of tabs in the developer tools But nobody cares about them I get panic attacks looking at the flame graphs end up using alerts to debug my apps - ugh Doesn’t that hurt? It’s kind of like a what a waste of effort “But you can just step through th