The story of how I started making music and was ready to give up 2 weeks ago! HD

Will you hear the crazy story of how I started making music and nearly quit the day before I gave it a try for the first time live online with FL Studio 12? Listen to all my songs free on SoundCloud at https://soundcloud.com/jbanfield. The story begins in sixth grade music class where I decided I hated music after flicking my music teacher off. From that day forward I was sure that I had no talent or interest in doing anything musical while attempting to put down most who were willing to try. I was into Pink Floyd and AC/DC followed soon by Eminem, Tupac, and Kesha. This was the soundtrack of my life from almost twenty years. When I was 30, I started to notice that the music I was listening to was often negatively impacting my mood. Getting to the car to drive somewhere, I would often be in a good mood and then getting out of the car twenty minutes later, I would feel like a victim or ashamed of myself or mad at the world. The modification to my mood I experienced from music finally became conscious and I started thinking about crafting my music listening according to what I wanted to feel like. In a shocking realization, I saw that nearly all of the music I thought I loved assisted most effectively in keeping me in disconnected and selfish mood. With no alternative, I stopped listening to nearly all music for over a year with nearly the only exception being a swim in the pool to listen to Kesha which after moving out of a house with a pool I gave up also for the last nine months. Dropping all the music I listened to for hours daily left a huge void in my mind and a desire out of no where to create music again. First, I ordered a Yamaha electronic keyboard and played that one night. Most nights it sat in my closet until I started to ask what my life would look like without video games. When I gave up my 20+ hours a week playing Call of Duty and League of Legends, I suddenly got the urge to create music in that space. FL Studio 12 was the digital audio workstation I bought to help me do that. Having no preexisting memory of anything musical, I started just playing around with the synthesizers and my new MIDI. After a couple of months and releasing two videos with me just banging on the keys using a synthesizer, I was ready to give up. I was considering returning my Mac Pro which allows me to live stream simultaneously on Facebook, YouTube, Twitch, Twitter with Periscope, Hitbox, and Beam which is owned by Microsoft. Just when I was ready to give up my idea of making music as another bad idea, I got just the insight I needed to give it a try the next day and most every day since then! The inspiration came from seeing that what I perceived was a huge weakness in my near complete ignorance of anything musical was really a huge asset for teaching how to make music live. If I would just start from the beginning myself, I could make a complete journey from not knowing anything to having songs I love and enjoy listening to! Thank yo