DEAR BODY HD

Dear Body, I was not sure If I was ever going to be able to open up and put this all into words. Whenever I think about it sadness, anger and anxiety all run through my mind. I am deeply sorry for everything that you have had to endure because I let my insecurities build up, never wanting to face them. You have gone through so many difficult roads and obstacles; you have dealt with unwanted touches and you have dealt with the feeling of being powerless. For a long period of time in my life I felt like you no longer belonged to me, I felt lost, I felt ashamed and most of all I felt worthless. Dear Body, I am deeply and truly sorry for the times that I got depressed and felt lost and I am sorry for forgetting to check up on you to see if you were okay. You were so strong through it all and I am sorry for resenting you for so long. I can’t believe I sought out for approval from everyone around me and through social media. I am embarrassed to admit that I always compared you to everyone else, never thinking you were enough. I am sorry for looking at other woman wishing to be skinnier, my nose more narrow, my chest to be bigger, my calves smaller and my stomach flatter; always being unhappy and wanting to change you. Not only did I constantly have negative thoughts about you. But I left everything that happened to you define what I thought you deserved. I realize now that I must treat you like the temple that you are. And when I did start to love you again I realized that there was nothing wrong with you. But there was a problem with how I saw you. I wish I had the courage to speak about this sooner and to be honest about everything that you had to go through for years but I am glad that I now have the courage to open up and share this with you. To the man who tried to rape me, to the ones who pushed me, and laid their hands on me, to the one who dragged me down the stairs, to the ones who mentally, verbally and physically abused and assaulted me. To the cop that told me that it was my fault for getting assaulted and “knocked over”. because I was small and who claimed it was an accident. To the ones who took advantage of my sacred body while I was sleeping and to the man who was unfaithful to me and made me feel alone and ashamed. And to the men who stood by while these things happened and didn’t do a thing. Even though I was not the one to blame, I felt ashamed and scared because I never did anything about it nor did I ever stand up for you. I had constant thoughts of not wanting to take another breath on this Earth,I thought that I would forever be broken inside. To all those men, I hope that one day you can realize the beauty of a woman’s mind, body and soul and learn to respect her entire being. It is a shame that woman have to grow up without seeing the strength and beauty in which her entire self is capable of, because of you. I hope that one day you realize how much your actions not just affected my mentality but affected other wo