Epic Rap Battle of Economistory: Friedman vs. Marx HD

Friedman: Here we are, in the 21st century, capitalism dominating our economy. Now can’t you see? That your economic policy On the bourgeoisie, is nothing more than an illogical fallacy? Now I can see why they exiled you from Germany; You’re just a hare short of a true Looney cartoon to me. So what’s up, Doc? With your desire to start a revolution? Can’t you see that a lack of government is no solution? I was the one that preached Social Security In a free market would create welfare dependency. But just because the government should not interfere Doesn’t mean we have to hunt it, kill it, gut it like a deer. And you say we’re on the 4th step on the stairway to being communists, But with the economy on the rise how can you make such failing promises? Marx: I never said that Capitalism was all that bad, If you had true insight, then you’d know it’s just a fad. Sure, there are pros, like the improvement of means of production, But after the boom comes the bust, an inevitable sine function. The oscillation only exaggerates, And the proletariats are left to flounder. Their surplus labour creates high profits, The bourgeoisie’s bellies get rounder. All this unrest, are you telling me it’s not real? Revolution is coming, and won’t be ideal. Friedman: Step back, don’t you dare try to diss me bro. Mr. I wrote Das Kapital and the Communist Manifesto. I won a Nobel Prize in the Science of Economics, I read your books, clearly, you should be hooked on phonics. You were rejected from every single place that you went; Meanwhile, I gave advice to the U.S. President. Why would the people listen to a man with no creativity? You had a wife and four daughters all who went by Jenny! For a man of economics, how were you so broke? You lived and died in poverty, you’re nothing but a joke. You say the only cure to mental suffering is pain, Well it’s a good thing you’re sickly because,boy, you just got slain. Marx: Talk about slain, how about your economic policy, You might’ve written for the President, But I wrote for the whole democracy. I was a man of science, social to be exact, I was only poor because the proletariat has yet to act. I was the father of my theory; you’re just a run-away Keynesian. I was in exile for my cause, what you stood up for was prostitution. Yeah, you say, “There’s no such thing as a free lunch,” Well, the cost is a revolution, and here’s the first punch. Friedman: There may not a free lunch but I’ll make eat your words; All I hear is useless cheap cheap like a bunch of Marxist birds. Marx: Don’t call me a Marxist! I’m a prodigy, a god you see. I’m the greatest gift there ever was to the economy. Friedman: A god, more like a puppet, like Elmo, your just a red Muppet. Capitalism is alive and well, and its progression you can’t stop it. Marx: Don’t call me red, do I look like a Russian fool? Well I guess that’s what you learn when government pays for your school. Friedman: Maybe with a school voucher you could have practiced law, A