Study Shows God Did Better Job in Creating Atheists HD

Get more news now! http://bit.ly/1BnwfZ2 Atheists seem to get a pretty bad rap in the U.S. but findings from recent studies will leave you quite surprised. SCRIPT: A new study by the University of South Carolina reports that college loans can cause students stress and anxiety. That study to soon be released in the scientific journal, Duh. Four men from Florida were found passed out with four dead deer in a yellow Mini-Cooper. And the whole country is wondering, what the hell was one man, let alone four, doing in a Mini-Cooper? Atheists, the worst of Satan’s farts and the most amoral people. That’s why in 7 states they’re forbidden from holding public office. As it should be. In Arkansas they cannot testify as a witness in court. Duh, because Atheists are the least trusted group in America, right behind rapists. Steve Harvey gets it... Bravo Steve. But a new series of studies is raising the possibility that non-believers may not be the degenerate lying rapists we all believe them to be. A 40-year longitudinal study by USC professor Vern Bengtson, shows that non-believers are more tolerant of their fellow person. Really? These people show greater sense of acceptance of equal rights, rational problem solving, and even man-made global warming… Well, that doesn’t sound right. Furthermore, they are less vengeful, less nationalistic, less militaristic. And, above all else, they are more empathetic. OK, THAT MUST BE WRONG! I need to find some real answers! GOD: Benjamin… BB: Is.. Is that you God? GOD: No. More like God’s right-hand man. BB: Jesus? GOD: No. Just. I go out and do the right-hand jobs. BB: What?! GOD: Benjamin, pay attention. Just believing in God doesn’t make you good or bad. BB: But how can atheists be good if they don’t believe in anything? GOD: I wouldn’t say that. Atheism is just a conclusion, not a belief system. Atheists are pretty swell people, I Play bridge with an atheist on Tuesday. BB: Really? GOD: Why would you want to do good just because you’re going to be rewarded for it? Or not do bad just because you’ll be punished for it. BB: That seems a little stone-agey. GOD: Ben, do you believe in free will? BB: I want to. Yes. GOD: Right. The new jam is being a great person because that’s good in itself. And if everyone does that--- BB: Wait--shut up, I just thought of something. So it doesn’t matter who you are. We should just treat people like we want to be treated. Wanna play some ping pong?