22 Dec 2018 another new thing that I can do since the relapse recovery started! HD

I’m so very pleased because yesterday I had something that I haven’t been able to do fully, since I have known my brother and his love of fast cars and driving them well... Yesterday, we went out in his rally car which has a six point harness, bucket seats, a full roll cage, and the ability for it to go really really fast. It’s nice being in a fast car for sure, the difference is when someone can actually drive it well and fast and you’re a passenger. That’s fantastic... I’ve been in his cars before, and we’ve gone fast, and he’s been in control, and it’s also been fantastic. The problem is when stuff gets exciting even if it’s scary or happy or fun, it’s still gonna be detrimental to my mental health because that amount of processing of my organic computer of my brain tends to overheat my brain and that can lead to certain cognitive problems later... I kind of thought something was wrong with me before because, he’s my brother and he has this fantastic passion for cars and I wasn’t able to share as much as I thought I would be able to, but it turns out that it was all because of the way I was held in the car. I have full confidence in his ability to drive the car but still I had that little thing in my back of my mind which makes me try to imagine what I’d be like in that situation, and that wasn’t good... But I’m telling you yesterday, in that rally car with the really safe environment of being hugged in the bucket seat, of wearing a six point harness, of being surrounded by a strong roll cage in a car designed to travel at that speed and by someone who is designed to be that much in control, was a fantastic experience! it was mildly arousing, I did say that it was the horniest I’ve been next to another man, ever! Lol... When we got back, from driving at the speed limit (wink wink), I felt like I was still moving. Now if you have had vertigo before like I have had, you can understand what it is like to feel like the world is moving even though you’re stood still but this wasn’t anything like that, this was like that Jamiroquai song where he talks about ‘travelling without moving’. It was like an out of body experience while I’m in my body... When I got back, I managed to jump down from the wall and then skip down the road a little bit, you can have a look at the tiny bit of wall that I tried to jump down from before and my thighs nearly lost control of my weigh, and I nearly collapsed, but now look at this big wall that I leaped from down yesterday. such a fantastic experience to be able to do those things right?... And I will do a video bit later from in the rally car that my brother is practising with because, hush-hush, he might be in the Monte Carlo! (more about that later)