Change Coach Conversation #3: How “together” does my life need to feel before I can help others?

Change Coach Conversation #3: How “together” does my life need to feel before I can help others? We’re taking an unplanned pivot! I was prepared to talk today about the original Change Coach Conversation #3--Your clients’ change is the reason you coach….and it’s not your responsibility. But last week I sent an email to my mailing list about the Change Coach Training Program beginning in January. There was a lot of interest, which is great, but there was also something that surprised me. A bunch of people responded saying something along the lines of: “It’s my dream to share this new paradigm to help other people become free of habits and anxiety! As I get a little further along myself, I’ll be totally ready to do that.” So this training sparked so much excitement in them and they are saying this is their DREAM…but they think they need to be further along before they can take a step in that direction. Several people essentially told me they think they need to be 100% habit- or anxiety- free before they can even LEARN how to share this understanding, let alone begin to share it. Really? Now let me be extremely clear about something. Coaching is a profession—a business—and I do think that to be successful and profitable we must to treat it like one. Just like I would never hire someone who can’t swim to give my kids swim lessons—I would never suggest that someone in the middle of addiction, or depression, or having regular panic attacks that completely throw them, or feels like the victim of a habit, is ready to coach other people through those things. No way. But that’s not who was reaching out. The people reaching out are people I KNOW to have come a really, really long way. People who SEE something that has impacted so much of their lives. Their habit or feelings of anxiety might still show up at times. But they are by no means LOST in those experiences. So here’s the thing: seeing more about this understanding is a HUGE part of any training. And, learning to share this skillfully with others, learning to coach from this paradigm, IS what can help take you deeper and further into your own freedom. Waiting for complete freedom first…or waiting until your life matches some ideal you think you need to reach before you can learn to share this…is completely unnecessary. In fact, it’s sometimes how we hide. It’s how we distract from doing things that stretch us. It can be how we stay small. “I’m not ready yet”. “I’m not perfect yet”. “Why would anyone listen to me?” Those are ways we make it all about us, when it’s not about us at all. By and large, if you’re curious and passionate and you dream about sharing this, you are ready to start. There is no better way to deepen in this understanding of how life works than to share it. What you’re sharing is not personal. It’s not about your behaviors and thoughts, it’s about how we all work. That’s what you learn to point toward. Take yourself out of it. All you need is to have glim